What is this site? Why am I irritating the world with my unwanted witterings, twangings and snapshots? I don’t really have a defence. As Martin Luther supposedly said, ‘here I stand, I can do no other’. Am I honestly trying to convince you that I can’t do else but offend your senses? Yes. I am not a hermit. There is almost no point for me to do anything even vaguely creative if I don’t share it.


So – what is it that I want to share? Firstly, my images…. Don’t I mean photography? Well….. yes and no…. or as the Germans so helpfully put it, jein. I don’t consider myself to be a photographer. Photographers always seem to me to be some sort of Borg-like creatures, with SLR cameras permanently attached to their faces like futuristic, interchangeable ocular implants. I guess this is a matter of semantics mainly. I have not studied photography. I am not a trained photographer. I do not carry a camera around with me all the time. When I use my camera it is almost always always as a tool for capturing something I have set up. I do very very little editing. The images I present are simply snapshots of something that was.

It ain’t art either. As any proper artist will tell you. It becomes art when you add a large price tag to an image. My images aren’t for sale. One day they may be. But on balance I think it unlikely.

I have been doing this (faffing about with a camera and mostly naked models) since the summer of 2005.


Some of my visual work extracts appreciative noises from those who are not fast enough to run away and want to placate me. This happens much less often whenever sounds which I have decided to call music emanate from my oral orifice. Sometimes I also grab a stringed instrument – ukulele since summer 2009, tenor guitar since early 2010 (which gives you some sort of idea how well I have mastered them….) and the terror becomes complete.

I perform folk songs (with a spattering of music hall), mostly from England. The wonderful things is, that although there is a proper bona fide qualification in traditional music offered by Newcastle University, the very concept of ‘folk’ music makes qualifications in this area, admirable, impressive, etc…. but hardly to be considered a prerequisite. So – I can raise my head with pride and say I am a folk singer. The songs are wonderful… don’t blame the songs.


This part, the least of parts, the part that the Dark Lord craves above all others…. oh hang… I think that has been done before. Anyway, as I was trying to say before I started to plagiarise Tolkien… I haven’t really done any writing in years, but intend to start again… watch this space.